Myths of Life – Identifying and Removing the Myth of Limitation

For many people, the 31st December marks the end of the one year and the ushering in of a new one. Excitement looms, largely due to the collective excitement of people around us. Yet when we look more closely at what the New Year really is, it is a social and cultural construct hoodwinking us into believing there is an objective entity called New Year.

The reality is that it does not exist objectively but through the individual and collective consensual creations of our perceptions. As with all co-created elements of which the human is part, we have the opportunity to choose how we create that reality through the lens of our own perception.

This year, take full responsibility for creating your life meaningfully and purposefully, fully mindful of ways in which you relinquish responsibility for your life by blindly adhering to social and cultural constructs. Your life will be richer better when you own 100% responsibility for all your experiences.

As 2010 approaches, you will no doubt be thinking about how you can made the coming year your Best Year Yet. However, without the proper tools, your intentions will turn to distant memories, leaving you with a sense of disappointment, frustration or cynicism.

Find out how prepared you are to make changes in your life by looking at the language you use every day. Think of s frustrating or difficult situation you were in recently. Reflect on how you describe the people or circumstances involved. When you describe your actions do you use the words ‘I‘ or ‘Me‘ or do you refer to a more generalised sense of what ‘one does‘ by using the words ‘You‘ as if ‘Everyone‘ surely would do this if in your place? Do you refer to another person or people involved as ‘They‘ as if part of a generalised group of people who tend to operate in a stereotypical way – rather than the particular individual’s being unique?

If you are using generalised words and statements to describe yours and other people’s reactions, this is an indication that the tools you are using to solve your problems will not work in creating positive outcomes in your life. Think about this carefully because it can change your life. By generalising things you are in fact relinquishing responsibility for your part in creating whatever happens to you.

Have you ever noticed that whatever challenges or problems you have, YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE? This is because you have a part in creating the situation – often by your choice of how to react to the external world. When you see this, you can change your outlook, your language and your results. That’s how change will come about in 2010.

Good luck.

Existential angst presents itself in many forms.  Have you ever experienced or learnt that a major change an individual experiences as positive and enhancing may be seen as negative, insignificant or trivial by others?  For example, I recently learnt that a colleague was getting married.  Eager to tell her close friends, she found certain of their responses unusual and upsetting.  One friend immediately challenged her with cynical remarks about her choice of lifestyle and seeming denial of her independence – without even asking the to-be bride how she felt about her life choices.  Why would a close friend seemingly fail to support her friend and want the best for her?

What if the bride to be’s choices were not, in themself, being resisted by the friend? What if the friend’s reactions had more to do with them facing the reality of change with all its losses?  For example, the bride to be is changing her life which, in turn affects the friend’s world.  Formerly she may have seen them as single women sharing similar experiences and venturing out together.  This is now changing and with it comes an ending, indicating that all things are temporary – not just events or experiences  – but the elements that make up our individual and collectively perceived worlds.

Reactions to change are existential in nature.  Even those who change all the time find ’staying the same’ challenging – since the latter is a change to their perceived and created worldview that change is constant.  By embracing the existential angst inherent in everyday change, we have the potential to live more mindfully and engage with others in more intimate ways, knowing that we are each co-created through our interwoven experiences.