Myths of Life – Identifying and Removing the Myth of Limitation

Existential therapy is qualitively different from other forms of psychotherapy.  It assumes that people are not sick but that symptoms indicate an individuals unique responses to life’s challenges. This might sound simple or even dismissive of the sufferer an individual has – it is not; instead it puts aside traditional notions of labelled mental ill-health and sees that we are meaning-making beings who create our own being  (good and bad) through interactions in the world.  Symptoms like depression, anxiety or general unhappiness are seen as experiences which we have a part in creating – which we might deny we have a part in but which are chosen unconsciously to ultimately heal ourselves.

Instead of pathologising the individual or their symptoms, the existential therapist assists the individual to identify the meaning behind their experiences.  Assumptions are challenges and a client assisted to see where they are denying they have choice in their situation or failing to see where it is available.  Existential themes of aloneness, uncertainty, death and the inherent choice and freedom to choose our own way of being, are highlighted and embraced.  Presenting symptoms like anxiety, depression, bipolar condition and addictions are openly explored to uncover the unique and subjective meanings attributed to them by each individuals experience.  Thus, the debilitating and distressing symptoms are sensitively handled to explore how they might be an individuals conscious or unconscious means of denying responsibility for their own life.

Why might someone choose the debilitating effects of depression or other traditionally labelled conditions?  It seems ridiculous maybe to even suggest that someone would do this.  However, what if mental health conditions were powerful signals that all is not well – that conformity to other’s expectations, contrary to our values or meaning-making result in us creating dis-ease which masquerades as depression – when it fact it is an invitation to look ourselves squarely in the eye and start choosing for ourselves? This ‘Call of Conscious’ named by the German Philosopher Heidegger  presents in many forms and when it does, don’t ignore it – it is an invitation to yourself to know yourself.

Existential psychotherapy, like all therapy is about reflecting on our life choices and choosing in order to have a well lived life. It takes place within the therapeutic relationship and is underpinned by the following philosophical beliefs:

We have choice and free will.
We are doomed to choose and yet often deny this, never tapping into the wide array of options available to us. We say ‘’I can’t do this’’ Ï shouldn’t do this’’ – all examples of denying the freedom we have – ultimately to be who
we really want to be.

Human nature is intrinsically flexible
We create our reality and ourselves by ‘being-in-relation’ to other people and other things. It is possible to make sense of life by engaging with this reality. We create our reality and ourselves by ‘being -in-relation’. We are not fixed but beings-in-relation who experience the world and co-create through Intentional Acts. ‘Intentionality’ means ‘moving towards’.  For example, we do not love, like, want anything in isolation – we love, like and want (or any other adverb), something or somebody. See the co-creation?

There are limitations to our freedom.
We do not have unlimited freedom to choose but are bounded by our social, physical and cultural circumstances.

Existential psychotherapy is a philosophical endeavour.
Van Deurzen says ‘existential psychotherapy is a tutorial in the art of living’ – not about pathologising and considering people to be sick; instead  struggling with the very problem of living and making sense of their particular circumstances.

Existential psychotherapy focuses on problems of living and not personality problems.

A individual’s challenges are not seen within a framework of personality differences, nor are people explained in terms of personality type or trait.  This would be seen as inauthentic, inasmuch as it presupposes a fixed entity called ‘personality’.

The goal of existential psychotherapy is Authenticity.

This is Heideggerian concept, not to do with being genuine or truthful but embracing the concept of Dasein or ‘’being there’’. Dasein embraces the infinite possibilities of being, against the backcloth of the limits of our existence.

Individuals are unique and their way of seeing the world is valuable

Regardless of how different a client’s beliefs or behaviours are, their subjective experience is real and significant.  The psychotherapist will always encourage a client to consider all their choices and their consequences, although they are not there to judge or condemn – their job is to throw light on the extent to which their choice serves them.  We often have a tendency to deny we have choice or do not see the choices inherent in everything.  Psychotherapy thus open up possibilities we may not have considered before – often a much in ‘ways of seeing’ as in ‘doing’.

Psychotherapists face the same challenges of living as their clients

These challenges are known as ontological i.e. we are born, we die, we relate, we are alone, we have to choose, experience anxiety due to there being no external yardstick to judge the rightness of our choices etc. Our ontic experience is how we encounter and experience these ontological givens.  Problems and challenges, from an existential perspective, are seen as encounters with these givens.  Existential psychotherapy assists a client to both experience and become the witness of one’s experiences.

Psychotherapists, as well as clients, are changed in the therapeutic process

If every human existent is co-creating and experiencing ontological givens, then whether therapist or client, they are each ‘in relation’. Although focus is in the client’s story and clients may never hear of the therapist’s life, both changed because they have ‘encountered’ each other.

In choosing, we must take responsibility for those choices

By choosing or ‘choosing not to choose’ by allowing others, social myths or circumstances to dictate the direction of our lives, we assume responsibility for what we experience.  Once we fully grasp this, we can no longer blame anything outside of ourselves for what we are or experience.  We are always ‘in relation’, even if the only choice we experience in a moment is how we think about something in our minds.
Existential psychotherapy is an opportunity to encounter yourself in a way that enrich your life, helps you assume full responsibility for your life in order to leave with meaning and purpose.