The Existential Myth of Who Someone Is
I recently shared an opportunity with someone whose response was ‘I don’t like the person who is heading this up! I am not sure what my strong negative reaction is but it is there and I will come back to you on this later’. Neither of us have met this individual face to face. We discussed our very different perceptions of the person involved, realising that I euologise about his abilities and integrity and she, because of different experinces with his team, was resistant to the new opportunity he presented.
Who really knows this person? His name is Brian. I eulogise about Brian, have positive associations and see anything related to him in an expansive and positive light. She is critical of his intentions and finds it hard to see beyond her reactions of who Brian is. Brian does not exist, of course, as a separate fixed entity.
We only have ‘Brian – the Observed’. The only Brian I know is Me and the only Brian she knows is her. Existentially, our unfixed nature of being means we are co-created and relationship is the inter-subjective experience of each other – despite our attempts to make objective this organic, phenomenological process.