Myths of Life – Identifying and Removing the Myth of Limitation

An existential dilemma!  The following is an example of denying there is choice because a monetary value is placed on options available and interferes with our real feelings of worth.

Imagine an unhappy wife who decides to divorce. Her lawyer advises that after dividing their total assets (some currently inaccessible from the extended family), she will be without a home and owe her spouse  $150,000. Formerly adamant on leaving, she now says ‘I really don’t have any choice.  How can I walk away from everything I have put in!’  She starts to justify her marriage and denies her unhappiness and appeals to logic an social and cultural expectations of what the wise thing to do is.

Existential Worth?

Existentially, how can we evaluate our state of being by placing a material price on it?  The value to be gained by choosing what she truly wants, is being measured by a monetary figure attached to some notion of fairness, effort invested, a fictitious myth that previous investment negates any future choice – when, in fact, the previous investment myth is the unquestioned assumption that the worth attributed to her state of being, ‘her life’ is a function of previous investment.  The cost of relinquishing an investment (of time, money, effort, denied choices etc) is not the true cost – the true cost is time and effort wasted in the future, not spent on chosen desires, which are denied as she focuses on perceptions of previous investment lost.

This assumption highlights the myth that limits us in truly ‘showing up’ as beings choosing their existence purposefully with the knowledge that this choice exists.  By attributing a monetary or material value to our choices alone, we miss the real cost of denying our existential freedom.  The cost? A life that lived with duty and obligation rather than purpose, creativity and meaning.

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Does depression actually exist or is it the label we collectively give to certain behaviours, reported feelings and beliefs? That might seem obvious; how else can we define something so it is recognisable and subject to scrutiny and investigation?  It’s the same with all labels.  However, there is something more powerful when we label mental health conditions. Labels hold a lot of power in terms of how people react to them whether as sufferer, professional or anyone coming into contact with them.  Mental health labels are politically loaded; a medical, pharmaceutical, psychological and ideological machinery exists within which causes and solutions are dictated.

The problem with labelling is that little attempt is made to see the problem in any other way than within the framework of ‘depression’ with all its associations.  So instead of assuming normed behaviours and experiences of depression, let’s look more closely at what depression might really be communicating.  The word ‘de-pressed’ means to ‘hold down’.  If asked, many depressed people say they feel as if a cloud is over them, they have little energy to do anything and, depending on the severity of their experience, they report very little interest in anything.  This of course spirals as the person lives within their world of depression – in effect, they become what they think about.

If we take away the labels and examine the experience as we would any other, another picture emerges.  When a client tells me they are depressed, I ask ‘What is your depression about?’ Through removing the label and examining the experience without judgement, assumptions or direction, the answers are as unique as the person. In encouraging a client to reveal the nature of ‘their’ depression, they are often surprised at what it reveals about themselves.  Often depression is an indicator of a person not following their own wishes or dreams; ones which they might have squashed, ignored or too fearful to examine.  Contrary to having no interest in life, the depressed person has denied or is unable to access those interests, those bigger dreams and the anxiety associated with living them.